A Busy Mom’s Guide to Surviving Summer (RE-POST)
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Those of us with children are headed into summer break. Due to the pandemic, some of you may still be on summer “break” from last year.
I tend to romanticize summer. As a kid, summer meant warm weather, pool parties, Dad grilling cheeseburgers, homemade ice-cream, and vacations. I remember the days stretching out in front of me while I devoured the stack of books I’d checked out from the library. As an adult, it means my children are home from school while I’m trying to maintain productivity as a researcher.
In this post, I’m sharing three things I plan to do this summer to make it productive, peaceful, and filled with beautiful memories. Although the title of this post is “Summer Survival Guide”, I hope that the tips shared here help you to do more than just survive this summer. Let’s make memories, or like the opening quote states, let’s “Live in the sunshine. Swim in the sea. Drink in the wild air.”
1. Establish a Routine
We’ve discussed the importance of routines here before, but they’re so important that I’m going to talk about them again! With everyone home, routines become imperative if you want to achieve your goals each day. Routines help keep everyone on the same page and communicate expectations. Most of us will still be working even though our kids are on summer break. For many of you, this has been your situation for the past year. In order to ensure that you are able to successfully accomplish your various responsibilities as a mother and employee, I highly recommend establishing routines for yourself, your children, and your spouse early in the summer. Here’s some questions to ask yourself to help get you started:
· What time will you plan to get up?
· What will you do with that time each morning?
· When will you plan to work? (Tip: Think about when you’re most productive and plan to work then!)
· When will you plan to play?
· What does your children’s day look like?
· Where does your spouse come into all of this?
Routines allow us to operate efficiently and effectively. When you take the time to cultivate your routines on purpose, they can even become beautiful and joy-filled.
Here’s an example of my summer routine:
· 5:00 AM – Wake up to the coffee pot brewing my coffee.
· 5:15 – 7:00 AM – Complete my morning routine which includes drinking a hot cup of coffee, reading my Bible, journaling, and reading 1-2 chapters from a non-fiction book.
· 7:00 AM – Eat breakfast with my kids and spouse
· 7:30 – 11:30 PM – Work
· 12:00 PM – Eat lunch with my kids and spouse
· 12:30 PM – Lay my daughter down for a nap and get my son settled for some quiet time
· 12:45 – 2:30 PM – Work
· 2:30 – 4:00 PM – Play with the kids
· 4:00 – 4:45 PM – Workout
· 5:00 – 5:45 PM – Fix dinner
· 6:00 PM – Eat dinner with my kids and spouse
· 6:45 – 8:00 PM – Family time
· 8:00 – 10:00 PM – Spend time with my spouse
· 10:00 PM – Go to bed
My kids’ routine looks something like this:
· 7:00 AM – Wake up and eat breakfast with Mom and Dad
· 7:30 – 11:30 PM – Play with Dad
· 12:00 PM – Eat lunch with Mom and Dad
· 12:30 – 2:30 PM – Nap or have quiet time
· 2:30 – 4:00 PM – Play with Mom
· 4:00 – 6:00 PM – Free play
· 6:00 PM – Eat dinner with Mom and Dad
· 6:45 – 8:00 PM – Family time
· 8:00 PM – Go to bed
A few things to note: First, my husband and I both work from home and have flexible schedules. This is what allows for us to have complete control over our routines each day. I know that may not be the case for you. The point is not to have a routine that looks just like mine, but instead the point is to intentionally create a routine for your family this summer so that everyone knows what to expect each day. This will eliminate wasting time trying to decide what to do and will eliminate arguments over who is supposed to be doing what each day.
Secondly, I want to emphasize the fact that I choose to work in the mornings because that is when I’m most productive. I always plan to do the tasks that require a lot of brainpower early in the day and then save the mundane tasks for the afternoon. Sometimes I even just use the afternoon to get some chores done around the house. My husband is not a morning person and doesn’t really have a preference on when he works, so we have just established a routine of me working in the mornings and then switching off at lunchtime. Work with your spouse and consider each of your personal preferences to create a routine that works for you!
2. Set some goals
Set some goals for yourself and your family this summer. Work-life balance can be defined as “being actively engaged in and having a sense of competence and satisfaction across life roles in accordance with personal values” (Hirschi, 2020, p. 2). In this post, I walked you through how to create a life plan, which involved getting very clear on your personal values and goals. If you haven’t listened to that episode, I highly recommend checking it out. I even provide a free guide to creating your own life plan.
Once you’re clear on your personal values and goals, ask yourself “What type of activities could you engage in this summer that will help you achieve your goals?”
For those of you with children, you only have 18 summers with them before they leave for college. In my case, my son is 6 years old which means I only have 12 more! It is a sobering fact, but one that I think helps put things into perspective.
Goals work best when they are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-based.
Some of my goals this summer are to:
1. Read Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets with my son
2. Take a family vacation to the Grand Canyon
3. Do one fun, memorable activity each week (e.g., family picnic, movie night, or game night)
3. Don’t overcomplicate it
Think back to the summers of your childhood. What are some of the first things that come to mind? Maybe it’s eating ice cream at your grandma’s house. Maybe it’s drinking lemonade on the front porch after playing in the park. Maybe its picking blackberries, playing in the creek, taking bike rides, staying up late, playing with your friends, creating something… the list could go on and on.
What do each of these activities have in common? They’re simple.
I sometimes feel like we put so much pressure on ourselves to create these big, amazing events for ourselves (and even more so for our kids). Yet, when done intentionally and mindfully the simplest of activities can come together to add so much beauty and joy to our lives.
I’d even go so far as to encourage you to allow yourself and your kids to be bored. In boredom, our imagination flourishes. I’ve witnessed this so many times with my kids. When I sit down and stop trying to entertain them, they suddenly come up with all kinds of fun, creative games. Some days they dress up as ninjas, other days they create a restaurant for their stuffed animals, and others they find a bunch of sticks or cardboard and make something out of it. If you’re a mother, take some of the pressure off yourself to engage 100% of the time. Your kids will be fine without you entertaining them all day long. In fact, it’s good for them!
These are three ways that I plan to approach my summer this year to make it productive, peaceful, and memorable. Just as a recap, I plan to establish routines for everyone early-on, set some goals for the things I want to accomplish this summer, and then not over-complicate it. In this way, I hope that come August I will be able to look back at this summer and be able to say this:
“All in all, it was a never-to-be-forgotten summer — one of those summers which come seldom into any life, but leave a rich heritage of beautiful memories in their going — one of those summers which, in a fortunate combination of delightful weather, delightful friends and delightful doing, come as near to perfection as anything can come in this world.” – L. M. Montgomery
Thanksgiving is right around the corner and for many of us, that means we’re gearing up to host Thanksgiving dinner. Given that, I thought it’d be a perfect time to share my step-by-step approach to hosting incredible dinner parties. I hope that this is a helpful guide that you can come back to time and time again, whether it’s the holiday season or just a random gathering of friends.