Things I’m Letting Go This Holiday Season
“Because being fully present and active in the life of someone you love is the best gift anyone can offer.”
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The holiday season is in full swing and if you’re like most women, you greet the holiday season with a mixture of excitement and anxiety. As a kid, Christmas truly was the most magical time of the year. I remember going to my grandma’s house on Christmas Eve, playing board games and acting out the Nutcracker with my cousins while we tracked Santa on Grandma’s dial-up internet. At 11:00pm, the entire family would head to church (each of us kids in our Christmas pajamas) and welcome in Christmas day with a candlelight service. It was my favorite day of the entire year. However, now that I’m a mother, the mere idea of orchestrating a Christmas Eve dinner for 30 people, refereeing board games between siblings, and trying to put cranky but excited children to bed at midnight only to be woken up at 5:00am to open gifts that “Santa” had left leaves me stressed out and exhausted.
The holiday season shouldn’t be one where you’re so busy creating the magic for your family that you never get to enjoy it for yourself. This can be especially difficult for you working moms, as you’re likely putting in as much effort at work as possible so that you can take vacation that last week of December. You have even less time and energy to give to your family and all the holiday activities when you get home. In fact, a recent survey found that women under 50 were the most stressed during the holidays, especially those who worked outside of the home. However, I want to encourage you, and even give you permission (if you feel like you need it) to let go of several unnecessary things this holiday season. If you do, I promise you will open up some much-needed resources like time, energy, and money and be able to better enjoy the magic of this season.
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1. Excessive Holiday Decorations
When it comes to spending my valuable time on putting up (and taking down) Christmas decorations, less really is more. My relationship with holiday décor has evolved over the years. Our first Christmas after we got married, I had our house decked out. Every single room in our tiny house was decorated. It looked like Santa’s workshop had exploded in our home. However, it seems like each year we’ve put up less and less décor. In fact, this year we have a simple tree with only a few of the kids’ favorite ornaments on it and our stockings hung over the fire. I’ve added some holiday flair to the other areas of the house with seasonal-scented candles and fresh flowers in Christmas colors. Just because you own a certain Christmas decoration doesn’t mean that you have to put it up. Remember it takes time for you to put it up and to take it down and your time is a very valuable (especially during this season). Think about which decorations you love the most and whether there are any that just don’t get you excited; then let those go!
2. Budget-busting Christmas Gifts
When it comes to achieving work-life balance, another valuable resource is your money. There is no reason to go into debt or get stressed-out due to Christmas gift-giving. While I love to receive gifts as much as the next person, I’ve let go of the notion that we need to spend a bunch of money to ensure that Christmas is a success. We budget out exactly how much we will spend on each person and with some family members, we’ve just agreed that we don’t need to exchange gifts. Instead, we just enjoy being present with one another celebrating Jesus’ birth.
3. Overbooked Calendar
One of the major stressors during the holiday season can be all the events, parties, and activities that end up on your calendar. I used to say “yes” to every single one. However, that didn’t leave me feeling a lot of holiday joy. If anything, it left me frazzled from dragging my family from one thing to the next and they didn’t exactly enjoy running around either. When I finally slowed down enough to ask my kids what they’d like to do during Christmas break, guess what they said? “Stay home, play games, and drink hot chocolate.” Doesn’t that sound much more appealing (and so much easier to accomplish) than an overbooked calendar!?!?
4. Hallmark Christmas Movie Standards
I grew up watching the Hallmark Christmas movies each Sunday evening as a new one would be released. I loved it! The way the entire town would be decked out in Christmas décor, Christmas music would be playing everywhere the characters went, and everyone loved to decorate designer trees and Pinterest-perfect cookies. However, this is not real life. It’s Hollywood. The sooner we let go of those standards for our family Christmas, the happier and more satisfied we will be with our lived experience.
5. Others’ Traditions
Just because your sister does “Elf on the Shelf” and your best friend takes the kids to visit Santa and get professional photos each year does not mean that you have to. There is nothing wrong with either of those things if you truly enjoy them, but don’t force yourself to embrace Christmas traditions just because someone else does it.
6. Unrealistic Expectations of my Spouse
It’s taken me 12 years of marriage to get to this one, but life is so much easier when I release unrealistic expectations of my spouse – especially around the holiday season. My husband cannot read my mind (although that would be amazing), so if I have certain expectations for Christmas, I need to communicate them to him. What this looks like is me clearly telling him the specific activities I do want to make sure our family does this year, that way we’re on the same page and there’s no grumbling when it comes time to do said activity. It also involves me giving him a very specific “Wish List” with direct links and sizes to the things I would like for Christmas. It's not fair to him for me to just hope he figures it out and then be upset with him when he (inevitably) doesn’t. Releasing these expectations has helped so much in allowing us to simply enjoy the holiday season together.
7. Having Control Over Everything
Any control freaks out there? This one can be really difficult, but the sooner we release some of the control, the sooner we can sit back and enjoy it. I’m still working on this one but it’s definitely something that would make the season that much more enjoyable. For example, when we put our tree up this year my instinct was to decorate the tree the way I wanted it to be decorated. However, my kids were so excited about their ornaments (which don’t exactly match my aesthetic) that I found myself begrudgingly stepping back and letting them decorate the tree the way they wanted. And you know what? It was okay. It was less work for me and they were so incredibly proud of their hard work. I consider that a win-win and an important lesson for all areas of the holiday season.
8. Overindulging on Treats
Along with the holidays comes an abundance of treats – hot chocolate, pumpkin pie, candy canes, cocktails, sugar cookies… the list goes on and on. It’s so easy to find ourselves overindulging in all these treats, but you know what happens when we do that? We end up feeling sluggish and guilty; leaving us incapable of showing up as the best version of ourselves. I plan to enjoy a few treats here and there, but to be mindful of not going overboard. Just because it’s the holiday season doesn’t mean I need to gorge myself. In fact, those treats can be enjoyed in moderation all winter long (which I find incredibly comforting).
9. Taking the Little Things for Granted
In the middle of Christmas shopping, holiday party planning, and meal prepping, it’s easy to lose sight of the things that matter. This year, I plan to stop taking the little things for granted and focus on being present with my family instead. I want to fully soak up the joy that comes from sitting next to the fire sipping hot chocolate chatting with my kids about their day at school. It’s in these most mundane little moments that I learn about their hopes and dreams, the things that bother them, and things that they love. I don’t want to miss that because I’m distracted. I want to be open to allowing them to help make the Christmas cookies, even if that means that they won’t turn out a pretty as I’d hoped. I want to enjoy those warm sticky embraces while reading our Bible before bed. There’s a lot of joy in the little things and I don’t want to miss it.
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We spend a great deal of time at work. Like Annie Dillard once said, “How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.” I encourage you to look around your office and see what steps you can take to add simple luxuries to your workday because in the grand scheme of things, they will add up and lead to a luxurious life!