Embracing the Season
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.”
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Maybe I’ve had one too many pumpkin spiced lattes. Maybe it’s because I’m enamored with the way the sun and shadows are changing as we transition into fall. Or maybe it’s because my kids are growing up right in front of my eyes and try as I might, I can’t seem to press pause. Whatever the reason may be (probably a combination of all of the above) I wanted to do a different type of episode today. I’ve promised to bring you research-based podcast episodes (like our recent work-family guilt series), but I also promised to help you create a more beautiful and joyful life. So, today we are going to focus on the latter.
Let’s start off with a question.
Why do you want work-life balance?
Have you ever thought about that before? Many times, the conversation around work-life balance presents balance as the ultimate goal. But work-life balance isn’t something that we will one day achieve and then never think about again. Balance is never the end goal, it’s simply what allows for more opportunities for joy and beauty in our lives. We want work-life balance because we want to lead lives full of joy. We want to be able to look back at our lives and know that we truly embraced life and all it has to offer with open arms.
Simply achieving a “balanced” life isn’t going to get you there. You may be able to manage your time perfectly and cross all the tasks off your to-do list, but if you never incorporate things that make you happy, things that bring you pleasure, your joy will be lacking.
As we shift from summer to fall, I wanted to share one of my favorite ways to incorporate more pleasure and joy into my life and I hope it will inspire you to do the same.
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Life is made up of seasons and each season has a beauty of its own. When we think of seasons, we might immediately think of spring, summer, fall, and winter. I know my very logical 6-year-old does. And there is a true beauty to the natural seasons. Springtime brings beautiful flowers and singing birds, summer brings delicious fruits and vacations in the sun, fall brings bold colored trees and pumpkin spiced everything, and winter brings coziness and the holidays. But even more than that, life is made up of seasons. A very wise mentor of mine, after listening to me complain about the difficulties of having a newborn, told me that the best advice she had ever received regarding motherhood was to embrace each season. That advice has stuck with me for almost seven years now. And that’s the idea that I want to explore today – embracing each season. I’m convinced that embracing each season, whether it be the natural season (e.g., fall) or the season of motherhood; career; relationship status that you’re in, can greatly enhance the joy that we are able to squeeze out of this beautiful life that we’ve been given.
Let’s start with the natural seasons. In her book, French Women for All Seasons, Mireille Guiliano states that “seasonality is a manner of being that is responsive to all conditions and stimulations of our environment throughout the year.” Yet, because of globalization and the ability to get what was historically seasonal produce and florals that vividly marked each season, we tend to have an impaired sense of seasonal rhythm today. This is especially true if you live in a climate that doesn’t have four distinct seasons.
Research on happiness has shown that anticipation is just as important as the actual experience. If we orient our lives to a seasonal rhythm, we automatically have built-in anticipation throughout the year. This is why everyone gets so excited to have a Starbucks pumpkin spiced latte in September. If we were able to have it throughout the year, it wouldn’t be nearly as exciting or enjoyable. Embracing the season is one of the simplest ways to maximize pleasure from one’s activities. It’s typically very affordable too! To illustrate what I mean, here are five different areas that you can intentionally embrace seasonality.
Foods
The availability of produce year-round has played a big role in reducing the connection that we feel to each season. Yet, think about it. A juicy plump tomato eaten on a hot summer day tastes so much better (and therefore brings more pleasure to the one eating it) than a lifeless tomato eaten in the middle of winter. By eating foods in their prime season, you maximize the flavor and the joy that you get from eating it. You are also more mindful of enjoying it because you know it won’t last forever. Further, you build in anticipation where you look forward to the next season when you can enjoy your favorite foods from that season. Currently, my kids and I are enjoying the very end of mango season and we savor every mango as though it’s our last (because it will be soon) and we are getting excited about apple and pear season. It’s such a simple shift but can have a major impact on the amount of pleasure you get from your food. Also, it’s usually more affordable to buy foods in their season!
Florals
A similar logic applies to buying florals in their season. You all know that I love to buy fresh flowers and arrange them each week. It’s one of my favorite routines. My all-time favorite flowers are peonies, but I restrict myself to buying them only in the Spring and Summer. I look forward to that season all year and truly take in the beauty of them each time I walk by my bouquet because I know that I only get to enjoy them for a short period throughout the year. Do you see how this works? We are maximizing our anticipation (which has been shown to enhance our happiness), enjoying our flowers at peak beauty, and paying closer attention to the pleasure these flowers bring to us because we know they won’t last forever.
Rhythms
We can also find joy in the rhythms associated with each season. Remember being a kid and looking forward to summer vacation all year long; being so excited that you could hardly stand it? What happened in August? If you were anything like me, you were ready to go back to school and see your friends and just change it up. Summer vacation would not be as pleasurable if it lasted forever. Think about what your rhythms look like each season. For me, I’m on an academic calendar so I do get to enjoy summer break at home with my kids. Come September, we are all ready and excited to get back to school and enjoy everything that fall has to offer in a college town (e.g., football & volleyball games). Eventually this excitement dies down and we start to look forward to Christmas break. The key is being mindful of the season that you’re in and taking the time to just soak up all the good things that season has to offer.
Traditions
This one is very similar to the rhythms that accompany each season, but I thought that traditions deserved a discussion of their own. Each season has its own holidays, and most families have traditions associated with those holidays; some even have traditions associated with a specific season. Traditions offer a beautiful way to embrace a season and intentionally enjoy something before it’s gone. Many of our family traditions center around food (I really love to cook and eat). I only roast a turkey once a year – on Thanksgiving. Each year the anticipation builds up as we peek in the oven all morning long, smelling the buttery citrus baste throughout the house. If I made that turkey every week, we would lose a lot of the joy that comes from looking forward to it and savoring it because we know that we won’t eat it again until next year. What are your family traditions? If you don’t have any yet, that’s okay; maybe this podcast will help you start to see the beauty of creating some traditions in your family and not just creating them, but truly savoring them.
Clothes
Finally, each season has its own style associated with it. If you live in a climate with four distinct seasons, your clothing will change out of necessity. The idea here is to embrace wearing your cozy sweaters and knit hats while you can, because eventually spring will arrive, and it will be too hot to do so. Enjoy your seasonal pieces! Don’t wait for someday when… Wear the sundress, the sunhat, sunglasses, the scarf, boots, or coat. It’s so easy to get in a rut and wear the same thing everyday, but that means we never get to enjoy the pieces that are just sitting in our closets. Even if you don’t have distinct seasons, you can always change up the colors that you wear according to each season.
Up until this point, we have been referencing the natural seasons, but we could just as easily change the definition of seasonality to “a manner of being that is responsive to all conditions and stimulations of our environment throughout our lives.” What would happen if we were truly mindful and responsive to our current environment as mothers, employees, wives, friends?
The simple fact that seasons have beginnings and endings helps us to appreciate them all the more. Not enjoying getting up in the middle of the night with a newborn? It will soon come to an end. Yet, because we know it will come to an end we can mindfully soak up all the newborn snuggles. We gain great joy from a pleasure that we cannot take for granted because we know it will soon be gone.
I want to leave you with some questions to consider. I hope that they will help you embrace the season of life that you are currently in.
1. What season of motherhood/career/relationship am I in?
2. What can I truly savor about this season?
3. What does savoring actually look like?
4. What am I struggling with this season?
5. How can I remind myself that this is only a season and it will soon pass?
6. Who are you becoming during this season?
Is a better work-life balance one of your goals this year?
I’ve created a workbook just for you!
If you’re interested in creating a work-life balance characterized by simplicity, joy, and beauty, why don’t you start by checking out my Elegant Balance Workbook? In it, I help you define what work-life balance looks like for you and share some tips on creating that balance. I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep saying it – Balance doesn’t happen by accident.
What are you waiting for?
Let’s pursue our Elegant Balance together!
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We spend a great deal of time at work. Like Annie Dillard once said, “How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.” I encourage you to look around your office and see what steps you can take to add simple luxuries to your workday because in the grand scheme of things, they will add up and lead to a luxurious life!