Simplifying the Back-to-School Transition

“Transitions are a time for reflection, and a time for looking forward.”

— Roy Cooper

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Many of you, like me, are right in the midst of the back-to-school season and while I've shared back-to-school tips before, things have evolved since then. My children have grown older, shifting from kindergarten and daycare to third grade and junior kindergarten. So, with a fresh perspective, I wanted to offer some updated insights on navigating this transition.

As summer's relaxed days fade, the school routine takes center stage. While some may long for structure, others might be reluctant to bid farewell to those carefree summer moments. Amidst this shift, I've found myself pondering ways to make the transition smoother for everyone involved.

But why is this transition so crucial?

Enter the concept of "spillover." This is a common concept in the work-family research that basically means that our experiences at home can significantly impact our performance at work or school, and vice versa. Starting our day on the right foot sets the tone for the hours that follow. A hectic morning can cast a shadow on the entire day, affecting both our interactions and our productivity.

In this post, we'll tackle the back-to-school transition head-on. I'll delve into a range of practical strategies aimed at smoothing out the morning routine. From preparing the night before to syncing schedules with your partner, these tips are designed to set you up for success, ensuring a calm and focused start to the day. So, whether you're ready to embrace the school routine or need a bit of assistance in the process, join me as we explore ways to simplify the back-to-school transition and lay the foundation for a balanced and productive day ahead.

1.      Ease into the day

Alright, let's jump into some of the tips. The first several tips relate to the general idea of having a routine. Our kids thrive on routines. I'm guessing yours probably do too – it's all about predictability. Routines help kids know what to expect, reducing apprehension and decision fatigue in the morning. These routines aren't just beneficial for the kids; they're a lifesaver for us moms too.

So, the first set of tips is all about establishing a routine. For you moms out there, consider creating a morning routine before your kids even get out of bed, even if it's just 10 to 15 minutes. This time allows you to get into the right mindset to help your kids get ready. Personally, I like to get up about an hour before my kids do. I'm a morning person, and it's my time for a cup of coffee, some quiet reading, reflection, or planning for the day ahead.

This pre-kids wake-up routine helps me have a grasp on the day before the morning rush begins. Even if mornings aren't your thing, building in even 10 minutes can give you a sense of the day's trajectory before waking up your kids.

2.      Pack the backpacks the night before

Another aspect that can greatly help is creating a habit of packing backpacks the night before. This wasn't as big of a deal when I had just one child with a backpack – we could manage it anytime. However, now that there are two, it becomes a bit more complex. Two backpacks, two jackets, two lunchboxes, not to mention two sets of homework or library books. It can feel overwhelming, especially in the morning rush against the clock.

So, I urge you to consider packing these essentials the night before and, as much as possible, involving your children in the process. This way, we're teaching them responsibility and how to manage their roles as students (a skill that will come in handy as they get older). Granted, my four-year-old needs assistance, but guiding her through the process is valuable for both of us. It's a lesson in starting to understand responsibility and taking ownership. Plus, she feels incredibly grown-up when she's able to do it herself. So, yes, consider preparing backpacks the night before.

3.      Lay out the kids’ clothes the night before

This tip is also connected to preparing ahead of time. The beauty of these tasks is that they're quick – you can breeze through them in just 10 to 15 minutes. It involves laying out your kids' clothes the night before. To take it a step further, consider laying out your own outfit for the next day. By doing this, you eliminate one decision from your morning agenda. And it's a preventive measure against the potential morning battles with your kids when they're sleepy and irritable.

In my experience, it's much more effective to have logical discussions with my kids during the evening or late afternoon. Avoid waiting until just before bedtime when exhaustion can lead to crankiness. Engaging them in conversations about what they'd like to wear when they're in a good mood and not worn out can make the mornings so much smoother.

You might even consider the idea of a uniform for your children. Perhaps your school mandates uniforms, and if not, you could still create a simplified clothing routine. Uniforms have my vote, irrespective of whether they're mandatory or not. For instance, my daughter is all about dresses. So, her everyday "uniform" consists of a sundress, underwear, bike shorts underneath, and shoes. It's straightforward – knowing the pieces makes it easier for her to figure out what to wear.

Here's another related point – place their clothes where they can reach and dress themselves. It might sound simple, but when we allow them to access their clothes independently, we're fostering their self-reliance. Granted, it won't be lightning-fast, especially with three- and four-year-olds, but by putting their clothes within their reach, they can start to dress themselves. This translates to one less task on your morning to-do list.

4.      Prep lunches ahead of time

Alright, let's move on to the next tip: preparing your lunches or your children's lunches. While I plan on delving into the topic of lunchbox packing more comprehensively in an upcoming podcast episode, let me share a few key points.

To begin, have the kids (or yourself, if you're packing your own lunch) choose what they want to eat for the week. Next, gather all the necessary groceries in a single shopping trip. In my case, I usually do this on Sunday afternoons – either by placing an order for curbside pickup or making a quick run to the store. With the groceries in hand, I get to work as soon as I'm unpacking them. I wash the fruits and vegetables, portion out crackers or prepare baggies of fruits and veggies. Depending on the kind of sandwiches, I might even prepare some sandwiches.

I often do this in tandem with unloading the groceries. In our refrigerator, we've got a dedicated drawer specifically for lunchboxes. Everything I've bought for the kids' lunches is stored there. Since we've pre-prepped everything, mornings become a breeze. The kids just open the drawer and put their lunch together. It's smooth sailing because the menu is already set for the entire week.

5.      Adjust to an earlier bedtime a few days in advance

This suggestion isn't entirely tied to prepping, but it's a strategy you might want to consider if school hasn't started yet. It involves gradually adjusting your bedtime a few days prior to the big day. While this approach might not apply to everyone, it certainly smoothed things out for us.

During the summer, our kids were hitting the sack around nine or even ten at night. We weren't meticulously tracking their bedtime. However, with the advent of school, a shift was imperative. My daughter, for instance, needs to be in bed by 7:45 or 8:00; otherwise, she's a bundle of crankiness in both the evenings and mornings. Adapting from a 10:00pm bedtime to 7:45pm was quite a leap, so we adopted a more gradual strategy.

We began by aiming for a 9:00pm bedtime, allowing them to wind down by reading for 15 minutes before lights out. From there, we incrementally scaled back. This approach helped cushion the transition, preventing the shock of abruptly shifting from 10:00pm to 7:45pm.

Another technique I've found beneficial, not only for transitioning to school but also for winding down in the evenings, is having a structured routine. This routine acts as a signal to our bodies and minds that it's time to wind down. For instance, our routine includes the kids taking their vitamins, brushing their teeth, and snuggling into bed. They love reading before falling asleep, so I bought these nifty timers from Amazon that allow them to read for a predetermined time before lights-out.

This buffer period gives them the chance to decompress. It's less abrupt than the lights-out scenario, which we adults don't typically enjoy either. Bearing that in mind, let's extend the same consideration to our kids.

Thus, my advice is twofold: consider tweaking bedtime a few days ahead if possible, and cultivate a comforting bedtime routine. Both strategies work in tandem, making for smoother transitions and more peaceful nights.

6.      Create a shared calendar with your spouse

Setting up a shared calendar is effortlessly achievable, especially if you're using tools like Google Calendar. With this approach, you can create a shared space where both of you can input essential details. For instance, you can note down school drop-off and pick-up times, and collectively decide who will handle which task on specific days.

In my case, the schedule is quite structured – I manage pickups on Mondays and Wednesdays, while my partner handles Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays are negotiable. However, I recognize that your schedule might not be as straightforward, and that's okay! The key is open dialogue with your spouse to figure out the best arrangement for your family.

Additionally, discussions should extend to extracurricular activities like baseball practices or dance classes. Establishing who will manage pickups and drop-offs for these engagements is pivotal. Embedding these commitments into your shared calendar ensures transparency and mutual awareness.

The shared calendar approach reaps benefits beyond the back-to-school phase; it's an asset for daily life management. It provides visibility to both parties, eliminating the need to bear the scheduling burden individually. In essence, the shared calendar isn't solely a back-to-school tool; it's a cornerstone for efficient coexistence. It streamlines coordination, reducing stress and fostering harmony in your relationship.

Conclusion

I hope you find some of these tips beneficial. As of now, we've been back in the school routine for about a week and a half, and things are progressing smoothly. I anticipate that the initial excitement might taper off soon, especially when the homework load increases. Nevertheless, when we consciously dedicate time to prepare our kids the night before, when fatigue isn't overwhelming, and when we ensure our mornings unfold seamlessly and peacefully, it significantly contributes to a successful day ahead.

This practice isn't solely advantageous for our children but for ourselves as well. The concept of spillover is at play here – our home experiences, interactions, emotions, and feelings don't merely stay confined within those walls. They often accompany us to our workplaces. Therefore, it's essential to cultivate positive moments at home, allowing them to carry forward into our professional lives. This harmonious cycle ensures that we present the best versions of ourselves both at work and as parents.

I sincerely hope you find these insights valuable. Have a beautiful, joy-filled week, friend!