Quality Over Quantity
“What I value in life is quality rather than quantity. ”
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Last week, I found myself reflecting on the concept of “quality over quantity” during my afternoon walk. It’s amazing how much peace, quiet, and movement can get my brain going. As I walked and let my mind wander, I came to the conclusion that the mantra “quality over quantity” could apply to so many aspects of working women’s lives. And when truly embraced, help us along on our journey towards an elegantly balanced life.
1. Work Hours: The first area we can apply this concept is our working hours. For a lot of us, the goal should be quality work not a specific number of hours spent on work. Put another way, 12-hour workdays don’t mean better work. It just means more time spent at the office. While I couldn’t find research to support a specific number of hours, productivity articles across the internet suggest that employees are only productive for about 2.5-4 hours a day. It calls into question what exactly we’re doing with those other hours and whether they even need to be spent in the office. You can embrace “quality over quantity” at work by working during your most productive times (e.g., morning people work in the morning), identifying priorities each day, and eliminating distractions that keep you from your work.
2. Time with Children: As a mom, I spend a lot of time thinking and worrying about the amount of time I spend with my children. Is it enough? I want them to know they are immensely loved. But is it too much? I can get irritable after the 10th tea party of the morning and worry that I’m smothering them and their ability to play independently. Can you relate? Turns out, moms today spend more time on childcare activities than moms in the 1960s did. This coupled with the fact that research shows that the sheer number of hours moms spend with their kids doesn’t matter as much as the quality of that time does, should alleviate some of your concerns and make it easier to strive for quality over quantity in this area of your life. Instead of keeping track of the amount of time you spend with your kids, I encourage you to prioritize the quality of your interactions. During the time that you do get to spend with them, strive to be fully present and engaged. For our family we build in a few of these moments into our daily routines – intentional conversations on the commute to school, family meals around the table each evening and bedtime cuddles at night.
3. Friendships: Friendships play an incredibly important role in elevating our lives - particularly for women. In a recent study, my coauthors and I found that for dual-career couples, social support from the wife’s friends helped alleviate not only her work-family conflict, but also her husband’s. Clearly, our friendships matter. However, nurturing meaningful connections with friends requires an investment of our time and energy. Over the years, I’ve found that “quality over quantity” applies here too. I’d much rather have a small circle of friends with whom I share deep connections with and actually have the bandwidth to provide meaningful support to them. This is not an encouragement to cut people out of your life, but rather a reminder that it’s okay to reconsider who you’re investing in and trying not to spread yourself too thin. A question I like to frequently ask myself is, “Am I being the kind of friend I’d like to have?”, and if the answer is no, then I make the necessary adjustments. It’s not a popularity contest - it’s not the number of friends you have, the number of girls’ nights you go out on, nor even the number of hours you spend together. What really matters is the quality of your relationship with your friends. Can you pick right up where you left off with that person? Does a chat with her leave you feeling loved, uplifted, and encouraged? Those are good signs of a quality friendship.
4. Food: Applying the mantra “quality over quantity” to our food might be the secret to sustainable, healthy eating. This can be applied in so many ways! First, eating foods made with high-quality ingredients as opposed to foods with a laundry list of ingredients you can’t pronounce will inevitably mean that you’re eating more nutritious foods. Secondly, we can apply this to the meals we are eat. Eating high-quality meals a few times a day is going to be better for us than snacking on junk food all day long. Energy is an important part of creating work-life balance and a key source of energy is the food that we eat. When our bodies are well-nourished and fueled with high-quality food, we have the energy we need to meet our various responsibilities. Not to mention, more energy to have fun and enjoy this beautiful life!
5. Clothing: I hate fast fashion. Not only are there sustainability issues with it, but the clothes just don’t feel good, fit well, or last very long. If given a choice between a walk-in closet filled to the brim with stylish, but cheaply-made clothing or a capsule wardrobe of 30 high-quality pieces that fit me like a glove, I would choose the capsule wardrobe every single time. The clothing we wear matters and can impact the way we show up in the different roles we play. And while high-quality pieces might be more of an investment than a dress from Target’s latest collection, I’m convinced they’re worth it. Better yet, go on a treasure hunt at your local thrift store - you’ll be amazed at what you can find! Just the other day, I bought a few dresses, a blouse, and a pair of shoes (all of which I’d consider high-quality pieces) for less than 1/4 of what I would’ve paid at the department store. Here’s a blog post outlining my favorite approach to thrift store shopping.
6. Extra-Curricular Activities: It’s easy to feel like you are failing as a parent if you don’t sign your kids up for every single extra curricular activity that comes their way - dance, karate, gymnastics, theatre, piano lessons, baseball, football, soccer, volleyball, cheer… The list goes on and on. Quality over quantity applies here too. They don’t need to do everything. In fact, maybe it would be good for them to learn that they don’t need to “do it all”. Aren’t we all trying to learn this? Why not bring the kids along for the ride? Signing them up for an activity also means that you are signing yourself up for driving them to and from practice, giving up precious hours with them, and committing your whole family to spending your weekends attending games. These are costs not always considered. An abundance of extra-curricular activities takes a toll on the entire family. Instead, why not focus on the activities that actually enrich their lives? What are they interested in? (Note: It may not be the same thing that you’re interested in them doing!) What do they seem to have a natural talent for? Prioritize those few, but high-quality activities and let the rest go!
7. Content: In this digital age, we have seemingly endless access to content - books, movies, podcasts, social media posts, YouTube videos, music - the list goes on and on. In other words, there is a great quantity of content available for us to consume. However, not all content is created equal. What we consume can have a big impact on our mental health and well-being. Take a look at what you’re watching, listening to, reading, and ask yourself whether it is making your life better. If it’s not, it might be time to cut it out of your life and instead aim to fill your life with high-quality content that enriches your life.
When we focus on quality over quantity in these different areas, what we’re going to end up with is a simplified and higher-quality life - and who doesn’t want that?!
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Thanksgiving is right around the corner and for many of us, that means we’re gearing up to host Thanksgiving dinner. Given that, I thought it’d be a perfect time to share my step-by-step approach to hosting incredible dinner parties. I hope that this is a helpful guide that you can come back to time and time again, whether it’s the holiday season or just a random gathering of friends.